Do you like reality shows or do you find them a bit silly? Either way, I believe you have at least a slight idea of what the “Wife Swap” series is about. I am just sitting at the airport and waiting for my flight home. You probably wonder why now of all times I am thinking about this TV programme …To tell the truth, it is an excellent analogy of a fast forwarded cultural shock.
The show usually has one of two endings – the wife comes home and praises her husband for everything which up till now she hasn’t always appreciated very much. Or in contrast she draws on the experience gained from the other family and wakes up to the fact that she can’t believe all she has put up with in her married life and what she has got used to.
A typical reality show, wouldn’t you say? We all know only too well that in relationships one gets used to many things and its only after some unexpected turmoil that one keeps wondering how this or that could have happened and how come he/she didn’t see it before and how could they have tolerated it all? In fact the process of getting used to things runs through all of our lives, but it’s quite a hard task to quarrel with an ugly flat or messed-up career so maybe that’s the reason why we recognize the overlooked “nuisance” ever more intensively in relationships.
Force of Habit Can Be a Problem That “getting used to it” thing (so called habituation) has some very practical reasons – enabling us to concentrate on important stimuli and stop paying attention to the constantly repeated and intimately known ones. The problem comes at the point when we start getting slowly used to unpleasant things because our attention at that point is engaged in dealing with much more serious discomfort. Due to the fear of being alone we “keep forgetting” how important the harmony in a relationship used to be for us many moons ago. Due to the fear of repaying the mortgage, we ignore the fact that every day we come home from work dead tired and in the morning wake up feeling stressed out. Get Rid of Your Bad Habits But how do we go about it then when we have actually “forgotten” what troubles, distresses and annoys us in our lives and yet at the same time we feel our life isn’t going exactly the right way? I’ve got a few simple tips for you:
Devote more time to children. Believe me they will be an uncompromising mirror by way of asking you endless inquisitive questions.
Set out on travels and aim for places which will stimulate you in many new ways. Having returned you may well marvel at the standard shape of a toilet cistern, various cultural customs or even the not very practical layout of your flat.
Pour your heart out and write it all down. Give yourself at least 15 minutes for it and don’t censor the flow of your thoughts at all, maybe you will surprise yourself with interesting revelations and observations.
Find yourself a very attentive listener who is capable of just hearing what you say without giving you advice and trying to influence your contemplations. It will be more than enough if he/she just pays attention and now and then briefly recaps what has been said.
Wait for a time when you aren’t feeling that great and make a video complaining about your wretched life. Be meticulous and remember to mention even the tiniest conspiracies against your existence. That dripping tap is surely an indisputable personal attack on you! How much better you will feel once you’ve fixed it. It’s just enough to see that it’s draining away your much needed energy.
Look at yourself through the eyes of someone else. How would your friends, parents, the boss view your situation? What would they envy you for and what would they tell you to change?
Have you now found a “forgotten” impulse that you aren’t very pleased about? If you have, it must be significant enough to be worth changing. Try to think up at least 5 ways how to get rid of this impulse and how to change it in a positive aspect. Found a solution, yet? Choose the easiest and most enjoyable one and when you put it into practice don’t forget to reward yourself accordingly.
May you get rid of annoying trivialities with a joyuful smile on your face!